better in time

if it's possible to identify a defining moment while you're smack dab in the middle of it, then this season of life will certainly be a defining moment for our family. we are being challenged and pushed and pulled. we are being stretched and working to do things differently, better for our family.

it should be no surprise to hear that i struggle in parenting crosby. he is a difficult kid for me. what he needs does not always come naturally for me. it should also be no surprise to hear i experience a lot of anxiety, with work, with life, and again, with crosby. all that, joined by lack of sleep for four out of the five us, the transition to being a family of five, to being a full time working mother of three boys, we recognized it was time for a change. what we had been doing wasn't working.

so that's where we are. there is counseling and books and new parenting techniques. there are a lot of tears and late nights and early mornings. there is so much "just trying to get it right" and "i don't want to screw this up." it is hard and it hurts. but i'm hopeful. we are seeing some change and it's good. there is a light at the end of the tunnel and i am just beginning to see it.