i drive myself crazy

there are days i think i can't handle being a full time working mom any longer. today is one of those days.

i've always loved working. i never thought i'd be that great at staying home and felt like working made me a better mom.

but not tonight. the laundry, the dishes, dirty floors, toys everywhere, it's all too much at 5 pm when i get home from work. and when it's one thing, it's a million things. it's the little piece of lint on the end table, or the random sock on the floor, or the fact that i can't find one of j's toys. i fixate and get angry. and then i can't really stop the crazy. it spirals. (this is normal, right? please tell me if it's not.)

and i blame working full time. because if i didn't work outside of the home 9 hours a day, maybe i could spread out the crazy. take it one thing at a time. or at least get it out before steve got home and had to witness it (and become the victim of my crazy).

today working full time did not make me a better mom. it made me an angry mom. and a difficult to deal with wife.

sorry, steven.