just can't get enough

(thank you miss rachel for this amazing picture of my not-so-much-a-baby-anymore baby.)

feels like home

(the house looks a little different, huh?)

so we have been here for almost two weeks and in that two weeks i've learned more about what it means to live in a "transitional" and urban neighborhood:

• at any point in the day or night, someone is outside on their front porch drinking a beer and/or smoking a cigarette
• if you have beer or cigarettes, be prepared to share
• more ambulances and ice cream trucks down our street than i've ever seen in my life
• neighbors are here to help and look out for one another
• there are a lot of Christians in the neighborhood
• and also a lot of veterans 
• if you suspect illegal activity in a nearby home, don't let on to it
• if the cops come to the street, make it clear you were not the one to call them

we are absolutely loving this time of creating our home and meeting our neighbors. as would be suspected, steven already knows all the neighbors' names and most of their life stories. he's been given resumes and prayer requests. most evenings, steve has been on the front porch chatting with neighbors, sharing what we have (beer and cigarettes), and getting to know those that live around us. jack has even made a friend too.


this week we attended the neighborhood association bbq. most of the people were newcomers, like us. but some have been around for years. it was a little disappointing to see the lack of diversity of those attending, but maybe we can change that. steve and i left asking eachother, "was everyone in the neighborhood invited?" because it certainly didn't look that way. we've talked about having a party for EVERYONE, inviting the whole neighborhood and having a kegger. but then steven reminded me that maybe a kegger isn't such a great idea and a root beer kegger would be best.


today we had the opportunity to open our home to about 30 people who are either considering moving to the near east side or just have a heart for the neighborhood. there was a little meet and greet of people and then a home tour, to which our home was added just this morning before i left for work. it was great talking to people about our reasons for choosing this community and what our experience has been thus far. also...we got a lot of great feedback on the yellow porch swing which made me so happy!


i'll probably be writing about our house a lot because...well, it's our life right now. and it's brought up a lot of emotion in me. mostly gratitude.

home

the house. the house. the house! we close tomorrow. and after two months of feeling nothing but overwhelmed, i am officially excited.

our new house!

this is our house, though it looks a bit different now. the door is navy, there is grass, a couple of plants. it looks like a real house.

we've been looking to buy a house in indianapolis for about a year now and immediately fell in love with this area. it's a "transitional" neighborhood on the near east side - which means this: there is what steven believes to be a crack house on our left and this across from our garage...

but there is a big movement going on right now to bring families like ours back to the city. new houses being built, old ones being renovated, parks being put in. one thing that has always appealed to us about indianapolis is that it is so affordable and convenient to live in the city. we will be about two miles from the heart of downtown. it's an exciting time to be buying a house and living in the city.

i've never been good at decorating and truthfully, we've just never done much of it. a lot of what we have has been handed down from family. we've just made it work. but now that we're in a home, we're excited about investing in some good things and things that are reflective of our personalities. it's funny that buying a home doesn't make me feel like an adult, but making my first purchase from crate & barrel does! this will by no means become a decorating blog, because it's just not my thing, but i will definitely share some pics as we get settled.

we are currently living in chaos which i really suck at. and since last time we moved i didn't have to do any packing because of THIS, i really suck at packing too. wish my sister and my mom were here...

(untitled)

I don't know how to choose to not be mad. I was listening to klove today (love klove, by the way) and they told a story of a husband who chose to not be mad at his wife. I don't understand. I know how to choose to not say something, but I don't know how to choose to not be mad.

Right before we moved to indy, I was seeing a counselor once a week. I was feeling a little crazy after I had croz and when that didn't go away after three months, I decided to try to get some help. We talked a lot about anger and how I had developed a habit of being angry. I chose anger. Often. And I usually responded to my anger with yelling and blowing up in some form. We moved to indy just as we began talking about how to create new, better habits.

But I still don't get it. I can choose to not say something, but I will still feel angry. My insides will still be very angry. Which means it will all probably still want to come out at some point. So what then? How do you choose love over anger?

Maybe I need more counseling, to pick up where I left off. More prayer?