I don't know how to choose to not be mad. I was listening to klove today (love klove, by the way) and they told a story of a husband who chose to not be mad at his wife. I don't understand. I know how to choose to not say something, but I don't know how to choose to not be mad.
Right before we moved to indy, I was seeing a counselor once a week. I was feeling a little crazy after I had croz and when that didn't go away after three months, I decided to try to get some help. We talked a lot about anger and how I had developed a habit of being angry. I chose anger. Often. And I usually responded to my anger with yelling and blowing up in some form. We moved to indy just as we began talking about how to create new, better habits.
But I still don't get it. I can choose to not say something, but I will still feel angry. My insides will still be very angry. Which means it will all probably still want to come out at some point. So what then? How do you choose love over anger?
Maybe I need more counseling, to pick up where I left off. More prayer?
I get it Lindsey. I am a hot head myself. I am sure that you and your therapist talked about this, but not all anger is bad. In fact, the Bible never says-Don't be angry. It says to be slow in embracing it. Sometimes things need to be addressed, and you have to get down right stinkin' pissed in order to change them. Excessive, unmerited anger without control is what we are to avoid. I don't know the couple's situation that you are talking about but most of the time that Eric and I feel mad at each other, it's definitely okay to be so. I have a few tricks I use for keeping it in check if you want me to email you, as I have already taken up a ridiculous amount of room on your blog. Sorry!
ReplyDelete-Kris
Shoot, my first comment didn't post!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for being so honest, and for recognizing when you should seek help. I'm a big fan of counseling (somehow things seem clearer with a neutral party to bounce things off of), and definitely prayer! I'll be sending plenty your way :)
I'm not sure if your anger is at people or at circumstances (or maybe both). But I know when I'm angry at others, it helps to remind myself how often I screw up and need their grace and forgiveness...so who am I to not extend it to them? That's my little "mental trick" to talk myself out of anger, and I'll be praying that you find one that works for you!
Love you, friend!