i won't give up

we are having another BOY! we've known this for about two months now, but it was just confirmed at our 20 week ultrasound. we couldn't be more thrilled at giving the boys another brother.

i realize i haven't written too much about this pregnancy or the baby or my thoughts on #3. why? well, because there are days when i feel like super mom. when i take the boys to the park and i remember to bring water and snacks. when i make dinner and do the dishes and give at least one of them a bath and read a book! and days when i'm patient and i'm cool and i'm fun. and we dance. and i think adding a third sounds like a lot of fun. and why wouldn't it be? i've got this whole mom thing down.

and then there are other days, when i'm overwhelmed. and i forget to bring diapers to daycare. and my kids are dirty and they need their nails cut. and if crosby hits jack one more time...and i'm angry. and we eat frozen pizza. and instead of reading books and playing, i sit on the couch and work before bedtime so i can watch X Factor in peace later that night. and the thought of a third makes my head spin and sends me into a panic attack that i'm afraid i'll never get out of. 

steve and i have always wanted a third child. we just kind of figured it would be down the road a couple of years and through adoption. we had just begun talking about becoming foster parents when we found out i was pregnant. after a two day shock period and a few pregnancy tests later, we were thrilled. felt so blessed to be adding to our family in this way. and we still do.

but are definitely considering some permanent birth control options...